The Child Listener is about to undertake research and write a book based on new project
is therefore not offering workshops or training at this time.

Some private consultations may be offered depending on The Child Listener's
schedule, and your location.

The Child Listener will be writing articles and sharing information
relating behaviour and literacy - new pages with free information relating to
child and teenage behaviour here soon.

Please email The Child Listener with your
parenting and family related questions, and she will answer as many as possible
through the web site

Please do look out for her book relating to 'Parents Aboard'- linked with ANT Vision
- facilitating parental involvement in schools - empowering parents by teaching them the secrets
of effectively teaching children to read and spell.

ANT Vision has a no tollerance approach to anti-social and bullying behaviour - and seeks, in part, to address
this issue by helping children to succeed with regards to literacy

Smacking Children (physcial punishment) / Sex Education in Primary Schools /
/ Teenagers and Binge Drinking / Paying parents to attend parenting classes

Articles coming soon! -Would you like to Suggest A Topic?
Please email The Child Listener!

The Child Listener promotes the implementation of a preventative solution to unwanted pregnancies & teenage promiscuity

' Creating an Early Sexual Relationship Programme- Learning to Love Yourself First '
How to create and introduce an effective sex education pogramme for children .
It goes far further than talking about the mechanics of sex at an appropriate age- more info

The Child Listener has been offering a range of workshops and training courses for adults
working with and caring for children and teenagers in Queensland

For example...

Developing Emotional Intelligence- Young Children
Developing Emotional Intelligence- Teenagers
Developing Social and Emotional Intelligence in the Classroom
Developing Intrinsic Motivation - Are Extrinsic Rewards Effective?
Working with Teenagers- Anger Management Workshops for Adults
Understanding and Supporting Children with Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties
The Art of Listening to Young Children
The Art of Listening to Teenagers
Developing Effective Communication
Being the ideal role model for children and teens

Specific To Parenting

Unconditional parenting- guidance rather than control
Alternatives to physical punishment, threats, bribes and shouting!
Learning to listen to children
Learning to listen to teenagers
How to say no and not feel guilty
Creating an amazing family
Talking about sex- when, where and how!
Talking about drugs and alcohol
Extended families- developing positive new relationships when families combine
I hate my ex- how can I ensure this doesnt affect my child

With her move towards completing the Doctorate and also focussing on her writing,
The Child Listener is no longer available for 1:1 sessions and in-service training

Anger Management for Teenagers

The Child Listener will be offering anger management tips and advice online
- please bear with us while we update the site.

Parents Aboard by ANT Vision
Empowering Parents- facilitating success in literacy through parental involvement

The Child Listener will be undertaking research and writing a book over the next two years.
The focus is on addressing poor behaviour using a preventative approach- raising literacy achievement
using proactive and effective parental involvement in schools, and by empowering parents through shared knowledge

Correlation Between Prison Intake and Poor Literacy-
Predicting future prison populations using 3rd & 4th grade reading scores
Read more

"We KNOW that there are strong links between poor literacy and problems behaviour- so let's be far more
proactive in creating a preventative approach, and embrace the notion of empowering parents. A much stronger
partnership needs to be developed between teachers, parents and children if we are to change the future of our society.
Join Read Australia today- and make sure that you are using the most effective methods possible, in order
to truly help ALL of our children become good readers, and develop the skills necessary to crack the code.
Not only does this open a world of opportunities, increased self-esteem is a natural, and much welcomed by-product.
There is no excuse for not giving our children the very best opportunities to succeed.
Read Australia offer YOU the opportunity to start doing that today.. "
"The Child Listener" 2007

Directory of Practitioners and Organisations Worldwide Offering Quality Workshops and Training Courses
for Parents & Teachers working with Children and Teenagers in Behaviour Crisis-
more

Add your listing to the Worldwide Directory



For example: Coby Edmunds- Renewal Life Solutions- Bribane
- Effective parenting training for Queensland parents!






Visit The Child Listener's Directory of Professionals Now!

Who is the Child Listener?


Emma Hartnell-Baker has demonstrated an empathy and understanding for children since she herself was a very
young girl. She would accompany her mother and Grandmother to their schools (teaching runs in the family!) and her
mother recalls how "children would 'flock to her'. There would be 'groups of children wanting to hold her
hand, and just stand with her at playtimes'".

Emma talks fondly of her Grandmother, now deceased and of how safe and
accepted she always felt in her company.
'I always knew that whatever I did, she would love me- and on some level we were 'connected'
That feeling of being connected with someone gave me an inner-strength that I feel every child
should experience. It may not necesssarily be with their parents or even family members- many of us can name
at least one influential person in our lives and arent we lucky if that influence was positive?
If adults caring and working with children realised how truly powerful they could be in even one child's life,
then they may begin to behave in different ways towards them.
You CAN make a difference. '


The Child Listener
- Emma Hartnell-Baker BEd Hons, MA Special Educational Needs, Cert Life Coaching

The Child Listener says....
.
All of us 'filter the world' in different ways. As Dr Phil is quoted to having said
'there is no reality- only our perception of reality'. (or words to that effect- sorry if I didn't quote you word for word Dr Phil)
We don't just behave in certain ways for no reason. We 'behave' as a result of how we 'filter' or 'interpret'
what has happened. And our interpretation is not always correct or in our own best interest.

As a professional life coach, and when working as a child and teenager behaviour advisor, I have gained great success
mainly due to what I believe is a gift, in part passed down to me by my Grandmother.
A gift of being in tune with children and teenagers, so that I can hear them, even when what is coming out of
their mouths is a different story. I read between the lines, I 'hear' more from what they don't say than what they do. I
read their body language, and I fill in the gaps. I often stand and listen to parents and teachers talking (or yelling) and kids,
with absolutely no listening going on. So the 'talking' serves the needs of the parent or teacher- and not the child.
If you aren't saying something that means something to them, that they can relate to, then how can we expect them to act on it?
So the first step is 'reading' children and how they are feeling.
Instead of holding on to the thought that 'well Im right to react in this way to the child' I prefer to focus on what we want
~ to achieve long term. The two often work in opposition.
It is only by listening to children and teenagers that we can really begin to find solutions and strategies
for dealing with problem behaviour, or 'unhappiness'. The same, I might add, is true for adults.

I often find it more difficult working with adults than with children and even the most disruptive teenagers. I have yet to
meet a child or teenager who I didn't 'get' and who I wasn't able to work with, to enable them to become more
emotionally stable and secure- with the result being improved behaviour, and inter-personal skills.
Because, unfortunately, adults are often convinced they know best. This blinds them from standing back and opening their
hearts to the possibility that perhaps they still have a great deal to learn - not only about children and teenagers, but about themselves. One of the greatest lessons I feel we can all benefit from, is learning about ourselves- throwing back the
layers of 'crap' (sorry, but I really feel that's the best word to use in this instance) and take a good hard honest look at
ourselves. Warts and all. The very best people to work with children- and to be parents- are those who love and
accept themselves, are constantly striving to be the best person they can be, and who are in touch with their
'authentic self' (yes Dr Phil- I think that's one of yours too) Ultimately, it means becoming far more self-aware.
The cornerstone to developing social and emotional intellgience is self-awareness.
Most adults however, don't recognize that everything they say and do is riddled with the aftershock
of their life experiences.

So when a child 'answers them back' in class? Before they can even begin to consider the
'why' of this behaviour- or that this rudeness may not even really be anything to do with them - they react back in a flash,
usually mirroring this anger and frustration, and setting up a power struggle and battle of wills.
They feel disrespected and incensed that a pupil would dare to speak to them in that way- and quickly react
accordingly-' just you wait matey-boy- Ill soon show you who's boss!'

Much of my workshops and training focus on 'how not to take things personally'- how to stand back
and view things that happen to is, and the way in which others behave, in an objective and constructive
manner-removing the emotions and ultimately saving yourself as great deal of stress! Learning to 'send away'
negativity and feel positive, emotionally, even when faced with
the biggest challenges. Ill help you get what you want far more often- even when faced with the most annoying and
confrontational children, teenagers and adults!

I believe that my purpose in life is to help people to 'listen' to children and teenagers and to recognise
that behaviour does not define a person. When 'behaviour' and 'self' - or 'identify' become too closely intertwined we
begin to influence lives in a negative way. We can all change behaviour- however it's a lot more difficult to change
who we believe we are. So when you tell a child 'you're so stupid!' it's a lot more damaging than telling her that you
think she's great, but the choice she made wasn't the best. Telling her
she's stupid also isn't going to change the situation- and in order to grow isnt the process of making mistakes valuable
- if we can then learn from them?

Every child I help to find their way to a different fork in the road, which then offers them the opportunity to walk, jog or run
their way to success helps me work harder to help the next. Sometimes its easy to find the 'secret door' and sometimes its not.
But everyone has one- and its my role to find the key (sorry I know that's corny- but I really do think that sums up my job!)
And may I also, at this stage, make it clear that emotional success is, to me,
possibly the greatest measures of true life success.

No-one asked to be brought into this world- and every child has to deal with the circumstances of his or her life.
Some children are luckier than others. Its the unlucky ones I am vehemently fighting for . If you have had a hard life then
perhaps you will in some way understand what some of our children have to go through every single day of their lives,
until the chance comes when they are old enough to escape. Often by then its too late- their 'filter's of the world
are clearly defined, and act as shackles preventing them every truly experiencing unconditional love, r
espect and a feeling of self-worth.
So my aim to help adults recognise how truly inspirational and influential they could be, if they would
just take the time to learn to listen, and to consider who embracing change might positively affect not only their lives, but the
lives of children- and ultimately tomorrow's society

If teachers are offered effective solutions then behavioural and literacy problems can be prevented.
I can show you how, or at least give you the opportunity to consider modifying your strategies.
Even if they seem to be 'working' I will encourage you to dig deeper, and to redefine what your definition of 'working'
really means, or is the most effective way to help each child truly reach their potential. And isn't that what
education and parenting is all about?

Working in partnership with parents, teachers are able to truly bring about real change. Most are truly committed to helping
children reach their potential, even if they havent been given all the skills and information really necessary to do this.
It's tough coping with 30 pupils in a classroom- often single-handedly- teachers are working with children who bring
with them a variety of life experiences, often very difficult ones. Managing the classroom is often a challenge before we
even begin to try to motivagte them to learn. Children need support, the teachers need support.
However in many situations there can become a set pattern of what happens - and this needs to be challenged, regardless
of how many reasons we can find to explain it away.
Some teachers welcome change - some dont.
I can offer strategies and ideas- whether or not they are embraced is up to the teachers themselves. On the whole, I
am delighted to find that most do want to offer the very best opportunities to their class students, even if it means challenging
some long held beliefs about teaching strategies and effecitve delivery of the curriculum.

When a child behaves badly in any situation- whether this be in school or within their home environment I focus on
the 'why' and try to figure out the contributing factors.
And when a child responds well I also ask myself the same questions.
My focus is what's going on internally - with everyone involved and not just the child- rather than externally.

My 'outcome' is not actually to create a child who is 'well behaved'.
Even if a child begins to 'behave well' I don't measure this as success- even if it does make the life of the parent or
teacher easier. My measure of success if when a child is contented and generally in a happy state of mind, and
'wants' to make choices that are kind, helpful, respectful, caring, inspirational, courageous.......you get the idea!

We can 'reward' or threaten with 'consequences' to get people to do pretty much anything we want of them
- to a certain degree. However that simply brings about short term results- and when the reward or consequence is
removed the child (or adult) tends not to carry on- he was motivated by an external reward, and when removed the
point of doing it is removed (research and articles to demonstrate this will be shown on my
Selected articles & Recommended Reading page. Don't get me wrong- I enjoy praise and rewards when I do well as
well as the next guy! So why shouldn't we expect that kids would want the same?
However I believe that the most fulfilled people are those who want to do what they are doing because they are
intrinsically motivated to do it- and of course also enjoy the added bonus of recognition and other rewards that come
as a result. I do not believe that people who ONLY do things because of the reward- and
wouldn't do it if it was removed- are fulfilled and content.
So I regularly reward kids for making great choices, putting in effort etc- what I don't think works is telling them that if
they do something I will reward them. I strongly believe that there is a negative effect to bribery, and a positive effect to finding satisfaction from what you do, and also getting random additional rewards. I am very clear in my praise - I am specific and it
is clear to the child exactly what it is I am praising. I don't give it out easily- its earned. So when I praise it means
something to that child. However I also have the aim of helping htem realise that their own 'internal' praise is
actually worth more than that of other people.

I'm tough in my expectations from children- they want you to have high expectations! I expect that every child can reach
his potential and am there with them on the journey - supporting them and being there for them unconditionally.
However you wont hear me telling a child who has just thrown a table across the room that he's a wonderful child
and this was just a poor choice. Ill talk through why me made that choice, he'll have the opportunity to put his case and Ill listen.
He would also expect me to follow through with a consequence and to be highly disappointed in his choice.
When dealt with its over. Even the worse behaviour choices dont define a person.

I do believe its also very important that we are clear in what we expect, and that there are clear consequences if you
choose to act in a way that goes against these expectations. Make them realistic and fair, and kids will expect to have these consequences- and actually lose respect for you if you don't follow through. I find that many teachers really benefit from talking through their class or home guidelines and boundaries - the best plans are those who have been thoroughly
thought through and planned accordingly.


Many teachers seem to want to go straight to 'set procedure' of what happens. They don't care 'why'
the pupil swore at them, ran off, or threw a book at them. They just want them punished.
And I agree- all behaviours should have a consequence.
We choose a behaviour and we choose a consequence in all areas of our lives. However if we forget to stop for a
minute and look at our own behaviour, and don't take the time to listen to the 'why' then we lose the opportunity
for long term change. Many of the current ways of tackling problem behaviour in our schools aren't working.
And yet we keep doing them over and over as if some how we will get a different result. When I hear that a child has
'been in the system for a long time' I wonder why this doesn't fill educators with horror- surely this means that what
has been tried hasn't worked for that child- over and over again? Would it make sense therefore to try something else?
That something else might be learning to listen and communicate with that child more effectively. We MUST take
the emotional needs into account if we don not wish tto simply 'band-aid' the situation. The emotional intelligence of our
students, and the emotional intelligence of the school as a whole should be a much higher priortiy.
And lets face it, what do we have to lose?

Anyway, Ill chat some more within other pages of the site. I really hope you enjoy the-child-listener.com , and that we
get to meet sometime in the future. I love to hear from parents and teachers and really wont be offended
if you completely disagree in my approach.
All I ask though, is that you open your minds and hearts to opportunity.
Watch me in action with children and see if there is anything that happens that could possibly change your mind
- or at least begin to question much of what is happening in society, and especially how we behave towards our children.
Also remember that some of most successful people in this world had teachers who told them they would amount
to nothing. I believe Dr Phil himself got into a fair bit of trouble at school!

Don't ever let anyone's opinion of your count more than your own.
But wouldn't life be easier if other people thought we were pretty great too....?

I have just moved to wonderful Australia and after delivering workshops and training to parents and teachers
for many years I am about to undertake research, and begin my book based on the 'Parents Aboard' program.
Having become increasingly aware of the strong links between undesirable behaviour (in children as well as adult)
and poor standards of literacy, I set about tackling this through parental involvement in schools and offering free
resources to help share knowledge with parents.
Why not implement a preventative strategy rather than having to then spend thousands of dollars in reading
recovery type programmes, and behaviour management and support? And when I show you how literacy levels are
being used as a predictor of criminal activity and prison intake in the US- well then youll be even more convinced
that we need to be far more proactive and accountable. Visit www.Read-Australia.com as well ANT Vision for details
of Parents Aboard- empowering parents and facilitating literacy success through parental involvement in schools.

I am also to write articles and useful information for Fertility Choices- addressing the needs of children born from
alternative parenting/ assisted conception. Often the focus is on becoming pregnant- rather than preparing ourselves
to fully meet the needs of the child.

I look forward to working with you in the near future.

Warmest regards

The Child Listener
Emma Hartnell-Baker BEd Hons, MA, Cert Life Coaching

This site is dedicated to my Grandmother- Irene Kirkland- and my Grandfather Syd Kirkland
I am blessed for having known you. You are held close to my heart, and always in my thoughts.

The Child Listener is currently living in Queensland Australia and offers child and teenager behaviour advice and help with
relationship problems and emotional issues. Developing child listening skills, learning to understand how children feel
and what they need. These skills help parents and teachers develop a greater empathy and understanding for children
and pupils, and are therefore able to meet their individual needs more effectively.
Developing social and emotional intelligence at home and in the classroom- for teachers as well as students!

Please also visit ReadAustralia.com (addressing the recommendations arising from the Enquiry into the
Teaching of Literacy 2005- givng free information and advice to parents regards phonics programs, and
teaching children to read and spell)
There are established links between children and teenagers who have literacy difficulties and who have problem behaviour.
Let's be a part of creating solutions!

The Child Listener- raising standards of education and school behaviour through preventative solutions -
creating calmer and happier classrooms.
Long term solutions that work rather than becoming involved in control, battles, power stuggles and conflict
- learning to listen to children and work with them, rather than against them.

Developing Social and Emotional Intelligence in the Classroom and within the Home
In-Service Training and Workshops for teachers in Australia- Training for adults working with children
and teenagers within Queensland. For example 'teenagers in conflict -anger management'
Child and Teenage Behaviour Problems Solved through Child Behaviour Advice, based on the Gold Coast Queensland Australia- private help, one day
workshops, training courses and more- behaviour of young children to teenagers explained! Emma Hartnell-Baker offers private help and also teacher training
and courses for childcare workers and teachers. Specialist in family therapy and conflict resolution. Anger management for teenagers, workshops and
training for parents and adults working with disadvantaged youths and teenagers involved in criminal and antisocial behaviour.