The Child Listener - Now living on the Gold Coast Queensland Australia- Listening, understanding children and teenagers- empowering parents, carers & teachers
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****** info@The-Child-Listener.com ******Also visit ReadAustralia.com and Headstart-Education.com |
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| The Child Listener |
Professional child and teenage behaviour advice, behaviour change therapy, workshops and training for parents, carers and teachers in Australia. The Child Listener lives in Queensland- on the Gold Coast.
Family Therapy Page
- The Child Listener has moved to the Gold Coast Queensland- Contact her for Family Counselling-Creating an Amazing Family- Overcoming Behaviour Issues, Confict and Problems - Children and Teenagers- Parents Uniting and Working Together - Creating a Behaviour Plan for Your Family that WORKS long term.
General Enquiries - 
Press and TV Enquiries -
Advertising Opportunities -
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The Child Listener- Working with Families Across Australia
A message from The Child Listener.....
I take a whole family approach to parenting and family behaviour. If you wish to create an amzaing family, where everyone is kind, loving and repsectful towards another then this is the only way to achieve this. If everyone is not working together towards the same goal there will not be the level of success you are aiming for.
Location permitting I conduct an initial visit with parents to ascertain aims and objectives with regards to what is wanted with regards to your family and your children long term
- this lasts 2 hours.
The next stage is very much dependent on my recomendations following this session and varies according to family needs.
Parents of teenagers visit me at the office for their initial consultation, and I usually meet with the teenager separately. We will then arrange for a 'family meeting' where solutions and a way forward are dicsussed.
The standard 50 minute rate is $95 with the initial consultation being either 90 minutes ($165) or 2 hours consultation being a $195.
Any time spent over this, if needed during that session,
is $95 per 50 mins.
Parents would usually (but not always) complete a questionnaire prior to the initial session, independently of one another and this would be our starting point. We need to find a common ground for your expectations, so that the plan implemented is fully supported by both parents.
Everything I do is around creating positive behaviour, rather than controlling your children. We want children to feel listened to and respected, as well as having clear boundaries and an understanding of consequences to poor behaviour choices. Everyone will understand that its a partnership, and everyone has the right to contribute and play their part towards the common goals- and at the sane time retaining their individuality and independence. Lets start putting the fun back into being a family! I look forward to meeting with you soon.
Emma - The Child Listener
Emma Hartnell-Baker BEd Hons, MA, Cert Life Coaching
Anger Management Workshops for Teenagers
Workshops for Adults with Children and Teenagers with Anger Management issues
Brisbane Queensland
Half day workshops - 4 hours
- $135 per person per place
Email us to express an interest now
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Everyone needs to feel listened to and accepted. The Child Listener will help adults to further develop their skills, to help them really hear what children are saying between - or without- words.
If we are to work with teenagers we need to start listening to, and valuing what they have to say. If you want to help teenagers improve their behaviour, become happier and ultimately more emotionally successful in life The Child Listener can show you how.
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Ask The Child Listener - Questions About Families
Hi my name is *** I'm 43 years old have two children of my own 19 and 20.
My own children presented me
with some of the most drastic situations over the years especially my son. He suffered post traumatic stress, spent
time in a hospital for it and received constant counselling since he was 10. He had anger problems and all i will say is that he was
a major challenge that at times even my loving parents told me to give up on. Of course i did not and now although he is still having many problems
he finished year 12 completed his apprenticeship and is paying off his own home.
My daughter was great and although the occasional attitude difficulty she was no trouble at all. The sad thing is that she often
said she was not allowed to be naughty as i had my hands filled with my son. Yes i was a single parent.
The real reason i am writing to you is that i thought after having my son i would be able to deal with anything. I have recently been
dating quite seriously a man who has two daughters. One is 10 the other is 14. He is the soul carer as his wife
abandoned them years ago but now has contact every second weekend.
I can only relay things as i see it but this is my dilemma. The 10 year old is fun cute self confident and infectious. just like my daughter.
The 14 year old on the hand is for a major problem. She is big for her age suffers acne and is very difficult.
This is the reason i am writing to you to perhaps ask for some advice.
She is very difficult to get on with. She has no self esteem no self confidence and sees every situation with a negative and sad outlook.
She has no friends and does not want to get involved in any outside activity at all. I would not say she is resentful of her
dad and my relationship. I think the real problem is that she wants her mum's affections and her mum just says
she is too hard to deal with and pretty much ignores her.
What i need help with is knowing how best for me to deal with her. She makes every situation hard even just going out for take away.
Saying she wants nothing then when we get home expecting her dad to cook for her and sadly he does. I have tried taking her
out for fun ..... the movies , a hot chocolate, ect and on return she never says thankyou and continues to be a
miserable so and so. She constantly argues every little thing she can even about the weather. She chooses to bring up very personal and
embarrassing stories about her dad and past family issues, just to shock me i think. She has no manners is very obnoxious and rude.
She also has some really disgusting personal hygiene matters. I have tried to talk to her especially about these issues
from one women to another and she gets very upset even though i have addressed it calmly kindly and very lovingly.
I am at my wits end. I have spoken to her dad about my concerns and he listens openly and agrees with a lot of my concerns but i think
he also is not sure what to do about the problems. My biggest fear is that it will cause us problems in our relationship and worse still that if
His dauhghter does not get some help or guidance now she will become totally unruly as the harder years approach.
Can you please give me some guidelines or suggestions.
Thankyou for your time reading this
***
Hi - obviously I cant give you a consultation by email- and a session would have been useful, however I dont know where you live and I am taking some time off as I will be undertaking research for the next few years.
Bottom line is that you are not and never will be her mother. You can be her fathers girlfriend or wife but this is far too late for you to try and take on a mother role. Only very young children will accept this. If you try to offer any type of motherly advice or info she will resent you for it. You say 'She also has some really disgusting personal hygiene matters. I have tried to talk to her especially about these issues from one women to another and she gets very upset even though i have addressed it calmly kindly and very lovingly. ' It doesnt matter how much you dress it up, you are telling her something that will upset her and her personal hygiene is nothing to do with you. She didnt choose to have you in her life. Her father did. So be warm and caring towards her, be a good role model, and understand that she is going through a really difficult time and thats all she wants or needs. If any teenager was rude towards you I would expect you to politely let her know how you would like you to speak to her, however do not treat her in any way differently than you would if another 14 year old was in your care while visiting. You have said yourself, she is big for her age, has acne, and has no friends. So you pointing out anything negative- however well intended- will only make her feel even worse. The best thing you could do for her is to accept her as she is and try to see any positive that you can- and treat her with kindness. It is not your role to be a parent or try to guide her- thats her father's job if she lives with him. If her mother is not giving her what she needs then that must give you even more sympathy for her- but its not anything to do with you.
The issue is not so much if she will cause problems in your relationship, but more that you will cause problems in her relationship with her father. The relationship between her and her father is always going to be more important. Who knows how long the two of you will last- statistically speaking. He is her father forever. So respect that you are the one who has joined her family- and she wasnt consulted or asked if that was ok.
So - although I doubt this is what you want to hear- if you really do want suggestions and guidelines, back off and stop trying to be a mother figure. That is the worst thing you could do for that child. Instead, just accept her and try to be non-judgmental and be kind to her - even if sometimes that feels difficult. You say that 'if His dauhghter does not get some help or guidance now she will become totally unruly as the harder years approach.' That's not your call.
I have 20 year experience with families- the best thing you can do now is let her father parent her as he sees fit, and dont put yourself between them or elect yourself as 'parent judge'. Even those parents who do an amazing job with their own chidren dont have that right when they join a family. She is not your child and you need to be very sensitive to that. While I dont question your motives at all, your actions need to shift or the situation will go from bad to worse. You could be just what she needs. So work out what that is- not what you think she needs.
New! The Purple Links Directory for Families
- Organisations that offer training and courses for families,
and for people who work with families!!
People who help People' Click below for more info
Info about family therapy and counselling from the Child LIstener here soon!
The Child Listener offers a range of workshops and training courses for adults
working with and caring for children and teenagers in Queensland
For example...
Developing Emotional Intelligence- Young Children
Developing Emotional Intelligence- Teenagers
Developing Social and Emotional Intelligence in the Classroom
Developing Intrinsic Motivation - Are Extrinsic Rewards Effective?
Working with Teenagers- Anger Management Workshops for Adults
Understanding and Supporting Children with Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties
The Art of Listening to Young Children
The Art of Listening to Teenagers
Developing Effective Communication
Being the ideal role model for children and teens
Specific To Parenting
Unconditional parenting- guidance rather than control
Alternatives to physical punishment, threats, bribes and shouting!
Learning to listen to children
Learning to listen to teenagers
How to say no and not feel guilty
Creating an amazing family
Talking about sex- when, where and how!
Talking about drugs and alcohol
Extended families- developing positive new relationships when families combine
I hate my ex- how can I ensure this doesnt affect my child
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The Child Listener is currently living in Queensland, Australia, and offers expert child and teenager behaviour advice and
prfoessional help with
relationship problems and emotional issues.
Developing child listening skills, learning to understand how children feel
and what they need. These skills help
parents and teachers develop a greater empathy and understanding for children
and pupils, and are therefore able to
meet their individual needs more effectively.
As result, adult objectives are met -
improved behaviour and more highly developed inter-personal skills.
The Child Listener's objectives are met ie long term behaviour change- happier and more emotionally healthy children and teenagers.
The Child Listener- Emma Hartnell-Baker- Offers a range of Early Years Education and Child/ Teenage Behaviour Advice Workshops
and Courses for Parents and Teachers in Australia,
in addition to private consultations, help and advice for parents carers and teachers concerned about
individual children and teenagers. Developing social and emotional intelligence at home, within classrooms and schools across Australia
Please visit ReadAustralia.com and Headstart-Education.com to book training courses and places on The Child Listener's popular workshops.
In-service training available to private and State education services.
The Child Listener- raising standards of education through preventative solutions, creating calmer and happier classrooms.
Long term solutions that work rather than becoming involved in control, battles, power stuggles and conflict - learning to listen to
children and work with them, rather than against them. Solving literacy problems, improving child self-esteem and behaviour.
Family Therapy- Uniting families - Discipline Strategies that work- Positive Parenting- Overcoming Problem Behaviour of Children
- Teenage Behaviour Advice for Families in Crisis - Gold Coast Queensland Child, Teenager and Family Behaviour Help and Advice by The Child Listener
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