Developing Social and Emotional Intelligence

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Relationship Rescue and Child/ Teen Behaviour Mangement Services
available from the owner of Footprint Solutions- 'The Child Listener™'
Other related services also available from qualified counsellors, therapists and psychologists on the Gold Coast Queensland

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Information about Workshops and Courses with a focus on Social and Emotional Intelligence will be included on this page- as well as recommended reading-article, journals and books. Please scroll down for information relating to 'What is Social Intelligence? What is Emotional Intelligence? Developing Social and Emotional Intelligence with Children and Teens, and in the workplace eg Schools

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 Jump to these useful articles and research papers

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The Importance of Fostering Social and Emotional Development within
the Eary Years The Institute for Early Childhood Education and Research

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Emotional Intelligence is far more than just how you feel or
what mood you are in. It's more to do with how well you:

	intelligently integrate emotions and cognition.
	understand the impact that subtle emotional shifts have on reasoning, memory, problem solving and other cognitive functioning.
	understand how emotions influence behaviour.
	manage to successfully integrate cognitive and emotional functioning to get the best behavioural outcomes.

In order to accomplish these four factors there are many skills involved.
Emotional Intelligence is not just one skill but a whole set of skills.
Some of the skills involved include the ability to:

	differentiate one feeling from another.
	stay open to your own and others' emotions.
	accurately use a widely differentiated vocabulary of feeling words.
	have significant levels of insight into yourself and others.
	recognise how you are feeling from moment to moment.
	understand why you are feeling the way you do.
	manage your own emotions safely.
	accurately understand how someone else is feeling.
	respond with understanding to others' emotions in 1-1 situations and groups.
	have significant levels of knowledge about emotions.
	be able to read other people accurately.
	predict accurately how other people may react and feel in response to decisions you have made or views you will express.
	incorporate accurate emotional knowledge and data into decisions involving yourself and other people.
	use emotional data and knowledge to help you choose the best decisions and communication style.
	manage your own emotions even in negative situations.
	manage the emotions of those around you.
	know the best mood for a task.
	facilitate your own mood shifts so you are in the best mood for a task or situation.
	use all these skills to arrive at the best possible personal and organisational outcomes.

What Emotional Intelligence isn't

	It isn't a fad, a technique or the latest management method - it's an intelligence, just like IQ is an intelligence.
	It is not about dumping your feelings on others.
	It isn't about telling everyone when you're angry with them or blaming them for making you angry.
	It is not about whether you feel emotions or not. Two people may both be angry, one may handle it intelligently the other may not.
	It is not about saying one emotion is better than another.
	It's not about being "emotional."
	It isn't for some people and not for others - we all have some to varying degrees.
	It isn't about making emotional decisions.
	It's not about having "emotional problems."
	Nor is it about group hugs, being warm and fuzzy, "being positive" or making everyone happy.

Emotional Intelligence is about the interaction between, or the combination of, emotions PLUS INTELLIGENCE. It is an intelligence. It is how perceptive
you are with emotions, what you do with yours and others' emotions, and
the extent to which you apply accurate emotional knowledge to your
thinking, that makes it intelligent.


From http://www.rachelgreen.com/emotional-intelligence.html
View Rachel Green products - ttp://rachelgreen.com/products.html

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The Child Listener offers training and consultancy relating to the Development of Social and Emotional Intelligence within Schools and aims to bring you articles, resources etc relating to emotional intelligence....however .her passion lies within education and strives to empower children



These guidelines are based on an exhaustive review of the research literature in training and development, counseling and psychotherapy, and behavior change. The guidelines are additive and synergistic; to be effective, social and emotional learning experiences need not adhere to all of these guidelines, but the chances for success increase with each one that is followed.

The guidelines are divided into four phases that correspond to the four phases of the development process: preparation, training, transfer and maintenance, and evaluation. Each phase is important.

These guidelines were developed for the Consortium by and with the assistance of Kim Cowan, and Mitchel Adler. If you are interested in the full technical report that includes all the supporting research for each guideline, you can view the full technical report online or download the full technical report from the site http://www.eiconsortium.org/research/guidelines.htm

Paving the Way

1. Assess the organization’s needs: Determine the competencies that are most critical for effective job performance in a particular type of job. In doing so, use a valid method, such as comparison of the behavioral events interviews of superior performers and average performers. Also make sure the competencies to be developed are congruent with the organization’s culture and overall strategy.
   
   
2. Assess the individual: This assessment should be based on the key competencies needed for a particular job, and the data should come from multiple sources using multiple methods to maximize credibility and validity.
   
   
3. Deliver assessments with care: Give the individual information on his/her strengths and weaknesses. In doing so, try to be accurate and clear. Also, allow plenty of time for the person to digest and integrate the information. Provide the feedback in a safe and supportive environment in order to minimize resistance and defensiveness. But also avoid making excuses or downplaying the seriousness of deficiencies.
   
   
4. Maximize learner choice: People are more motivated to change when they freely choose to do so. As much as possible, allow people to decide whether or not they will participate in the development process, and have them set the change goals themselves.
   
   
5. Encourage people to participate: People will be more likely to participate in development efforts if they perceive them to be worthwhile and effective. Organizational policies and procedures should encourage people to participate in development activity, and supervisors should provide encouragement and the necessary support. Motivation also will be enhanced if people trust the credibility of those who encourage them to undertake the training.
   
   
6. Link learning goals to personal values: People are most motivated to pursue change that fits with their values and hopes. If a change matters little to people, they won’t pursue it. Help people understand whether a given change fits with what matters most to them.
   
   
7. Adjust expectations: Build positive expectations by showing learners that social and emotional competence can be improved and that such improvement will lead to valued outcomes. Also, make sure that the learners have a realistic expectation of what the training process will involve.
   
   
8. Gauge readiness: Assess whether the individual is ready for training. If the person is not ready because of insufficient motivation or other reasons, make readiness the focus of intervention efforts.
   
   
   Doing the Work of Change
   
   
9. Foster a positive relationship between the trainers and learners: Trainers who are warm, genuine, and empathic are best able to engage the learners in the change process. Select trainers who have these qualities, and make sure that they use them when working with the learners.
   
   
10. Make change self-directed: Learning is more effective when people direct their own learning program, tailoring it to their unique needs and circumstances. In addition to allowing people to set their own learning goals, let them continue to be in charge of their learning throughout the program, and tailor the training approach to the individual’s learning style.
    
    
11. Set clear goals: People need to be clear about what the competence is, how to acquire it, and how to show it on the job. Spell out the specific behaviors and skills that make up the target competence. Make sure that the goals are clear, specific, and optimally challenging.
    
    
12. Break goals into manageable steps: Change is more likely to occur if the change process is divided into manageable steps. Encourage both trainers and trainees to avoid being overly ambitious.
    
    
13. Provide opportunities to practice: Lasting change requires sustained practice on the job and elsewhere in life. An automatic habit is being unlearned and different responses are replacing it. Use naturally occurring opportunities for practice at work and in life. Encourage the trainees to try the new behaviors repeatedly and consistently over a period of months.
    
    
14. Give performance feedback: Ongoing feedback encourages people and directs change. Provide focused and sustained feedback as the learners practice new behaviors. Make sure that supervisors, peers, friends, family members – or some combination of these – give periodic feedback on progress.
    
    
15. Rely on experiential methods: Active, concrete, experiential methods tend to work best for learning social and emotional competencies. Development activities that engage all the senses and that are dramatic and powerful can be especially effective.
    
    
16. Build in support: Change is facilitated through ongoing support of others who are going through similar changes (such as a support group). Programs should encourage the formation of groups where people give each other support throughout the change effort. Coaches and mentors also can be valuable in helping support the desired change.
    
    
17. Use models: Use live or videotaped models that clearly show how the competency can be used in realistic situations. Encourage learners to study, analyze, and emulate the models.
    
    
18. Enhance insight: Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional and social competence. Help learners acquire greater understanding about how their thoughts, feelings, and behavior affect themselves and others.
    
    
19. Prevent relapse: Use relapse prevention, which helps people use lapses and mistakes as lessons to prepare themselves for further efforts.
    
    
20. Encourage use of skills on the job: Supervisors, peers, and subordinates should reinforce and reward learners for using their new skills on the job. Coaches and mentors also can serve this function. Also, provide prompts and cues, such as through periodic follow-ups. Change also is more likely to endure when high status persons, such as supervisors and upper-level management model it.
    
    
21. Develop an organizational culture that supports learning: Change will be more enduring if the organization’s culture and tone support the change and offer a safe atmosphere for experimentation.
    
    
    Did It Work? Evaluating Change
    
    
22. Evaluate: To see if the development effort has lasting effects, evaluate it. When possible, find unobtrusive measures of the competence or skill as shown on the job, before and after training and also at least two months later. One-year follow-ups also are highly desirable. In addition to charting progress on the acquisition of competencies, also assess the impact on important job-related outcomes, such as performance measures, and indicators of adjustment such as absenteeism, grievances, health status, etc.

© 2004 The Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations


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What is Emotional Intelligence/ What is Social Intelligence?
Articles and Papers Relating to Children and their Social
& Emotional Development Selected by the Child Listener

Enhancing Children's Emotional Development

By Leah Davies, M.Ed.

Most educators agree that children's emotional well-being
contributes greatly to their social and intellectual development. However,
adults have traditionally denied children's feelings by saying
things such as, "You shouldn't feel that way!" or "You'll be fine. Forget it."
Negating children's strong emotions can result in fearfulness, confusion,
shame and resentment, which can interfere with their learning.
When negative emotions are suppressed, they usually resurface
and cause problems. Children who are taught to identify, express,
and cope positively with their feelings develop useful life skills.

Human beings experience a variety of emotions that cannot be
categorized as right or wrong. What is important is how children
handle their feelings. Children learn by observing the significant others
in their lives. Adults who honestly express their feelings in constructive
ways foster children's emotional growth. When educators model
self-understanding and emotional maturity, their students are more
likely to do the same.

How else can educators enhance children's emotional development?

1. Help the children gain an understanding of their feelings through
   the use of books, board games, puppets, interactive
   story telling or role-plays.
   
   
2. Teach children to identify and verbalize their feelings, as well as
   to read the emotional signals from other children and adults. (For
   useful tools to promote emotional literacy, revisit www.kellybear.com.)
   
   
3. Watch a child's facial expressions, posture, play or art work for
   signs that a child is experiencing a strong negative emotion.
   Then offer constructive ways to defuse it, such as painting, dialogue
   or taking a "time out."
   
   
4. Accept emotional responses as legitimate, even if you don't like
   the behavior the feeling produces. For example, when a child
   hits, the feeling of anger is demonstrated. Stop the child and say,
   "It's okay to feel angry; it's not okay to hurt others.
   Talk to me about what your feeling."
   
   
5. Communicate understanding and empathy by reflecting the
   observed emotion. For example, say, "You seem sad" or
   "You seem upset." Then, if the child confirms your reflection
   and begins talking, be quiet and listen. (See "Helping Children Cope with Anger" in Teacher Ideas, www.kellybear.com .)
   
   
6. Observe the child's nonverbal behavior for clues as to how
   he or she is feeling. Listen for the content of what is being said, as well.
   
   
7. Avoid negative statements like, "Can't you do anything right?"
   or "What's your problem?" These comments discourage
   open communication and suggest that when a child does not behave perfectly, he or she is "bad."
   
   
8. Avoid moralizing ("That was wrong of you!"); humiliating
   ("I can't believe you did that."); lecturing ("You should have
   known better."); denying ("You'll be okay."); pitying, ("Poor you.
   It's all their fault."); and rescuing, ("I'll take care of it."). Instead, listen patiently and nod your head appropriately. Remember that
   questions can often lead the child away from the real problem or
   cause the child to stop talking.
   
   
9. Problem solve with the child by encouraging him or her to think
   of options and decide what constructive action to take. (See
   "Ten Ways to Foster Resiliency in Children" in
   Teacher Ideas, www.kellybear.com .)
   
   
10. Keep lines of communication open. You might say something like:
    "Emily, I am glad you told me about your mom's illness. It must
    be hard to have her in the hospital. Please know that I care about
    you and that I am here if you want to talk again."

More here soon

 

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The Child Listener™ offers a range of
life coaching, family therapy
and behaviour management services on the
Gold Coast, QLD:

The Child Listener™ specialises in helping parents
and teachers learn to listen to children
and teenagers - and hear the words that are
not spoken, as well as to more accurately
interpret what is being said.

'The Child Listener™' - Emma Hartnell-Baker (owner of Pink Bubblez™) has a
BEd Hons, and an MA (specialising in Behaviour Management, Counselling,
Personal Social and Emotional Development and also Dyslexia)
from Nottingham University.


The Child Listener™ offers private consultations, family therapy and
in-service training within Queensland, Australia.
She has created 'Footprint Solutions'- on the Gold Coast- where she and
other therapists offer a range of counselling, psychology and therapy services.
The Child Listener's available time is limited, so please book well in advance.

Ph 0-7 5510 9960 to book sessions with The Child Listener™
- an initial 90 minute private consultation
- $165 - parent/s only
Hourly rate is then $125 - or $95 for children/ teens (50 min session)


Sessions are held within Emma's office-
- Pinnaroo St, Santa Barbara - on the Gold Coast Queensland.

Are you a counsellor, life coach or therapist? Join the team and
see your own clients in the comfort of the Pink Bubblez™ office.
Contact us today!

The Child Listener™ takes a proactive approach to child development
and behaviour, and encourages parents to develop strategies that
enable children to learn 'social rules' and yet maintain independent
thought and creativity. Strategies that help children to be intrinsically
motivated to 'be their best' earlier rather than later. She asks parents to
consider - even before they are born!- how they are going to help children to develop their authentic selves. Many parents are fairly set in their ways
about how the world works, and what 'parenting' means- however there
is no parenting style or strategy that works for all- and parenting may need
to be different for different children! Those who really want to offer their
children the greatest chance of being happy, productive members of society
may need to work harder, be more creative, more patient and accept that
what seems to be 'right' to them may not always be effective.


Do you need to improve on, or learn new skills, to
be a better role model?

Then contact The Child Listener™ today!

Let's leave living in judgment and 'being right' at the door- moving forwards
in a positive manner, towards a brighter future"
The Child Listener, 2009

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